Hanging On the Question Marks
by ShatteringDaybreak
Summary: For the longest time, my path has been clearly marked out for me, the consequences of my actions as clear as day. But now...now my path is shrouded in darkness, with no one to tell me which action is the right one. The sensation is liberating and confining all at the same time. Companion story to Honor Among Thieves, starting from "Revelations".


**A/N: This is a companion piece to Honor Among Thieves (picking up with chapter 18), so I highly suggest that if you want to avoid spoilers (and a lot of confusion), you read that one first! This contains Zuko's point of view from when he enters the story, all the way to the end. I've no idea how often I'll be updating this, seeing as I have enough trouble just keeping up with the first one. I guess we'll just see how it all plays out. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own A:TLA, only my original character. **

* * *

Hanging On the Question Marks

"In all affairs, it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." ~Bertrand Russell

* * *

Chapter 1

"Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you." ~Gayle Forman

* * *

I should have known it would end like this. It was foolish, trying to pretend that I could have a normal life. Uncle means well, but I am not someone who can hide forever. Too much is at stake for me to disappear into the shadows. I am not surprised to find Azula here; Ba Sing Se is too much of a threat to leave untouched. I suppose I hoped that I could have remained anonymous in the tea shop and left the war to those who knew which side they were on.

It's too late for that now.

I struggle against the guards holding me, but they're strong, and their grip does not waver. I am dragged across the floor, unable to get my feet under me for leverage. They pause at a plain section of wall next to a third guard, who looks a little bored. He straightens up when he sees us and throws a salute into the air.

"We've got another prisoner," the guard to my left says.

The sentry nods and turns to the wall. He stomps heavily and pushes his hands down, causing a section of the wall to sink into the floor. A dim green light pulses in the cave below, but before I can see much more than that, the guard calls something down below and I am shoved forward into the tunnel.

I am not ready for the change in terrain, so my feet slip out from underneath me and I go sprawling on the rough stone floor of a large cave. Green crystals provide the light I saw from the mouth of the tunnel. The walls are roughly hewn rock, and boulders litter the cave floor. I don't see any other passages branching off, and one last small spark dies in my chest. I will be delivered to my father as a traitor, with no hope of redemption.

I become aware of another presence in the cave as the tunnel door slides shut. The sound of flesh hitting rock bounces down from the tunnel, as does a muffled curse word. It's repeated as footsteps approach, and a hooded figure comes into view. It stops suddenly as it catches sight of me, and a third oath is uttered.

I recognize her, of course. I have only seen her once before, but the green cloak is distinctive, as is her deep voice. She is a newer companion of the Avatar, no doubt being used by Azula in some plot to capture him.

I am reminded of a time when I had planned to do just that, only to have everything turn on its head. A part of me is glad that hunting him in no longer a part of my life, but another part—the one that revels in the power of firebending—yearns for that time again. The thrill of the chase, the certainty that this, _this_ was the day I was to recapture my elusive honor…

I don't know what part of me is stronger now.

I cannot see the face of the girl in the hood, but I do know who she is. I turn away, trying to suppress the little voice in my head saying that if she's here, the Avatar will not be long after. I am not sure what I will do if he does come here, and that leaves me feeling uncertain.

There is a shuffling of fabric as the girl sits down, but I do not look back. I ignore her completely, content to sit in silence, but I cannot help noticing a strange sound that echoes in the damp, chilly air.

The wheezing sound of much-too-rapid inhales comes from behind me, and I turn to see the girl hunched over, chest expanding at a rate too fast to be healthy. I almost turn away again, but the sound has triggered a memory.

"_Just breathe, in and out."_

"_That's what I'm doing, you stupid hogmonkey!"_

"_I'm sorry. Maybe…just listen to my voice. You're safe now."_

I shove the thought away violently, as memories of her bring up nothing but a bittersweet taste. But now that I have seen it, I can't turn away and leave this girl to her panic attack. _She_ won't let me.

I am a little uncomfortable with helping her, and so I search for a reason to justify it. I seize on one, the only other time I have seen her. She helped me once, while Uncle lay dying on the streets of an abandoned town. I had driven her friends away, but she pressed on, giving me the tools I'd needed to save Uncle's life.

She helped me then, and I will help her now.

"What's wrong?" I ask, even though I already know the answer.

She chokes on her reply. "Nothing."

"That's the worst lie I've ever heard." I'm not sure why I'm pressing the issue, but I suppose I can't stop now after just asking her the problem.

"None of your damn business," she snarls.

I stand up and walk over to her. She hears me, but doesn't look up. "What's wrong?" I ask again.

After a brief hesitation, she answers. "Claus—claustrophobic. Can't…can't breathe."

That memory threatens to surface again. A face floats in my mind, twisted with fear and burning red with too much oxygen. I want to walk away, to leave behind this girl who is able to bring back these thoughts, but I can't. Reluctantly, I say, "I can help, if you want." I reach out and touch her arm.

She flinches. "Why would you?"

My answer startles myself. "Because I once knew someone who had claustrophobia. I know what to do." It would have been just as easy to say that I owed her, after what she did for me in Tu Zin. But I know that's not the real reason I'm doing this, and for some reason, I have decided to tell the truth.

"How do I know I can trust you?" she asks.

A fair question. "You don't. But no one else is down here. No one else can help you."

"I don't need your help."

I raise one eyebrow, even though her head is down and she cannot see me. "Are you sure about that?"

"No." The word explodes from her mouth with a burst of air. I suspect she did not mean to say it. She breathes deeply, then asks, "How do I know you won't try to slit my throat?"

I scowl at her. I may have chased the Avatar, but I am no killer. "We're both stuck down here," I say. "We're the best chance the other has of getting out." I add another thought under my breath. "Besides…I am not my sister." No doubt Azula would take the first opportunity she got to betray this girl, but I am not her. I may not be on the hooded girl's side, but I will not let her die here. I don't think I could let anyone die here.

That seems to convince her as she nods. "Do it, then." She lifts her head just barely. "Help me."

I kneel in front of her, and she turns her head away slightly. She does not want me to see her face, and while I am curious about what she is trying to hide, I respect her desire for anonymity. I have promised to help, not to expose her. I reach forward until the tips of my fingers rest against her temples. This time, she doesn't flinch. I don't try to tilt her head or to see under her hood, and that seems to steady her. Slowly, I begin to rub small circles on her temples, and with an exhale, I heat my fingers gently. The warmth absorbs into her skin, and bit by bit, she begins to relax. She sighs, and I pull my hands away. "Better?"

"Much," she says, her voice lighter. "I'd forgotten what that felt like."

"You've had a firebender do that before?" I ask, startled.

She shrugs. "Maybe."

There is more to this girl than I thought, but I have done what I promised. I turn away to cross the cave, but there's a rustle of fabric as she stands up and calls out to me. "Why're you here?"

I stop in my tracks. "What?"

"I know why _I'm_ here," she says. "Friend of the Avatar and all that. But what I don't get is why _you're_ here. Azula's your sister; you're Prince of the Fire Nation. So…why're you here?"

"I don't _know_ why," I say, like the words have a sour taste. What I've said isn't entirely true, though. I do know why…or at least, I have a hunch. One that I'd rather not expand on.

"Liar." The accusation is hurled at my back like a dagger.

The familiar feel of anger sparks in my stomach, and I stalk up to her, face stormy. "What did you say?" I have just helped ease her fear, and this is how she repays me?

"I called you a liar," she says. "Go ahead, strike me down if you want. Azula's using me for bait only until Aang gets here. In fact, she may be planning my untimely demise as we speak. You or her, doesn't matter; I'll die anyway. Makes no difference to me how I go."

Part of me thinks she's bluffing, but I can't see her face, so it's hard to tell from voice alone. I stare at her, wondering at the nerve this girl has to insult me, her enemy. We're alone down here, with no protector or guardian. But as I watch her, I begin to think that she doesn't need one.

Who is this girl, who travels with the Avatar but will not show her face? It occurs to me suddenly that I don't even know her name. She is only the girl in the green hood, and for a moment, I am seized with the impulse to rip it away and find the face beneath. Something tells me that that would not end well, so I hold back. "Who are you?" I ask.

As expected, she doesn't give me an answer. "Who I am doesn't matter," she says flippantly. "I'm nobody. But you're deflecting." She points a finger at my face, and I am forced to lean back. "You know why you're here. You just don't want to face it."

As much as I hate to admit it, what she says is true. I do have an idea of why Azula has imprisoned me, but I don't want to say it for fear that the words might make it true. "What does it matter? Why should I tell you, anyway? You're nobody. You travel with the Avatar!" I'm scraping for excuses at the bottom of the barrel, and I know that she can sense it.

"We're both trapped down here," she says. "Alliances don't really matter at this point, do they? And like you said, we're each other's best hope of getting out, yeah? So really, what's the harm in telling me? I'm nobody."

I realize with a start that she's right. If either of us wants to escape, we might have to end up working together. I suppose trust would be needed if it ever came to that, and trust is not something I'm sure I can give. But…if she really isn't anyone important, then maybe she'll have insights to my situation that others do not.

I sit, still wrapped up in my thoughts. What's the harm, really, of telling a faceless girl my problems?

"So…why are you here?" the girl repeats.

Strangely, I find myself answering. "After the Siege of the Northern Water Tribe, my uncle and I were adrift for days. We landed on a corner of the Earth Kingdom, and we spent a few days recovering. Then…Azula showed up. She said that my banishment was over, and that I was welcome home." I stop, the memory of the event overshadowing my words. I have replayed this scene so many times in my mind, looking for anything I could have done to change the outcome.

"Of course you believed her," the girl says. "Why wouldn't you?"

This is the first time anyone has told me that trusting my sister was not a foolhardy move. It's a novel feeling, but not entirely unpleasant. "We were almost on the ship," I say, "and the helmsman told the Royal Guard to set sail with the—prisoners." I spit the word out, and it tastes foul on my tongue. Even now, months later, the memory of my sister turning on me stings.

"She was there to capture you."

"We fought, and we got away." I furrow my brow as I once again dissect her words and her actions. Azula may hate me, but she could never outright attack me…

"You're the firstborn son. Even though you're banished, you _are_ the rightful heir to the throne. She can't depose you without risking major rebellion, not to mention abdicating her own claim to the crown." The girl's voice is thoughtful, and I stare at her in shock. It takes me a moment to realize that I'd spoken aloud, and that she hadn't plucked the thought from my mind. Another moment passes, and the full meaning of what she's said sinks in. In three sentences she's managed to lay out the very problem I've been struggling with since that day. I nod at her, and she continues. "The only way Azula could have rightly gone after you was if she'd been ordered to. And the only person Azula takes orders from is the Fire Lord. Your father."

It's the same conclusion that I have come to time and time again, but hearing her say it gives the words more weight somehow. My thoughts could be dismissed as the ravings of a paranoid fugitive, but her clinical analysis drives the point home. My father ordered me captured, like a common criminal. I'd been on the path of the Avatar, so close to fulfilling the task he'd set before me…and he wanted me in prison for it.

The idea is too painful to bear, so I push it from my mind. "We went on the run," I say. "We came to Ba Sing Se. Uncle thought we could have a normal life." I wonder where he is, at this moment. Has he been captured, or is he trying to find me?

"I suppose that's shot to bits," the girl says, and her voice is lighthearted as she laughs. "You with a normal life. I'd pay to see that."

I stiffen. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She laughs again. "Oh, come on! I mean, you're you." She waves a hand in my direction. "All angst-ridden and formal and serious. What were you doing in Ba Sing Se anyway?"

My neck and cheeks flush as I look away. I can only imagine what she would say if she knew about my stint as a tea server. That life always chafed at me, like a second skin that had been stretched too tight. I am not the type of person who would be happy working in a shop for the rest of my life, and I wonder if that's what she means. "Nothing," I tell her. "I don't have to answer to you." Her scrutiny is starting to wear on me.

"Oh, I know. I just enjoy making others uncomfortable." It might also be that this humor is her attempt to diffuse the tension that surrounds us like a blanket of fog. "How about this," she says, leaning back. "You told me yours, so I'll tell you mine."

I say nothing as I try to figure out what exactly she means by that. I seem to spending an awful lot of time doing that.

"You know I wasn't with Aang in the beginning," she says, and I remember that to be true. I had not seen her before Tu Zin. "I joined shortly after they landed in the Earth Kingdom. Little squirt saved my life—well, just my hand, I guess." She rubs her wrist as she remembers. "So I joined up with him."

I am curious in spite of my determination not to be. "If it's a life debt that ties you to him, surely that's been fulfilled already?"

Her lips twitch, one of the only things I can make out underneath the hood. They are pink and thin—the type of lips that are always curled into a smirk. "Y'know, when I first joined, I thought maybe that's all it was. That, and a greater chance to help others. But now…" She trails off thoughtfully. "It's so much more than that. They're naïve, yes, and idealistic as hell, but there's something about them—they care so much about others. You can't help but get caught up in that, even when you're as cynical as I am."

The way she says it…she says the words with a new inflection, like there is a special message in there for me. I can't decipher it, though some part of me knows what she's getting at. "Why are you telling me this?" I ask. I've always found directness to be a good approach, though something tells me this is a girl who avoids it whenever she can.

"You need to hear about them from someone just like you."

I feel a flash of anger. How can this girl assume that she is like me, that she has experienced the things I have? It's awfully presumptuous of her to waltz in here and say that she knows how I feel, or understands anything about my life and the way I see things. She's a nobody, and I am prince of the Fire Nation! We are nothing alike.

I tell her this, and she freezes for a minute. The temperature in the cave seems to drop as she begins to work at the leather cuffs around her forearms. She pulls one end free, and I realize that they are not cuffs at all, but strips of leather wound around her arms from wrist to elbow.

They flutter to the ground as she walks over to me. She shoves her arms in my face, and it takes me a few seconds to really process what I'm seeing. When I do, my blood runs cold.

Thick scar tissue snakes across the skin of her arms, a dark vivid pink against her pale skin. At first, I think they are just shapeless. But then I realize that five thin burn marks radiate from the center, creating the image of a handprint. Someone has gripped her arms and burned her, almost as bad I as was.

She is scarred, like me.

"Don't you dare tell me we're nothing alike," she says, and her voice is as icy as Azula. "You don't get to make that call."

"I—didn't know," I stammer, eyes wide.

"Of course you didn't," she says, self-consciously tugging at her sleeves and returning back to her rock. "Because you're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't pay attention to what's going on around you."

"Hold on," I start, but she's already barreling on.

"You're Prince of the Fire Nation, but do you even bother to look around and see what this war's done to your people? I'm not even talking about your opponents; I'm talking about your very own citizens! This war has torn apart the world, but you're only concerned with how you fit in the picture!"

I stand up because I can't bear to hear any more. I think of Lee and his family, of the brother gone away to war. I think of the soldiers posted in the town, bullying the citizens simply because there is no one left to stop them. I think of Song and her scars. This girl cannot tell me that I am completely ignorant of the war's effects. "I know!" I say. "I've seen it, I know—"

"Then why the hell are you still on Azula's side?!"

My mouth reacts before my mind can catch up. "I'm not!" I still as their meaning springs on me. "I mean, I'm not with her, but I'm not—" My voice dies as confusion sweeps me off my feet. It is true that I am not aligned with Azula (would I be down here if I were?), but that leaves the question of where exactly my loyalty lies. Months ago I had an answer, but now I am not so sure. "I don't know."

She looks at me, and I feel uncomfortable under her hooded stare. "What're you gonna do?" she asks.

"I don't know," I say again. I feel helpless that I cannot provide a solid answer.

This doesn't seem to bother her. "I'll take it," she says, and suddenly, I feel like I have given her power over me. "I didn't mean to yell at you," she tells me. "Well, yeah, I did…but maybe I should have put it differently."

Her words are a startling change; one moment she's yelling at me, and the next, she's contrite. "Why are you apologizing to me?"

She looks at me like I'm being stupid. "Well, you're a person, aren't you? Even if you've done some awful things, you're still not as bad as Ozai."

I grow uneasy when she mentions my father's name. It's clear she hates him, or else she wouldn't be helping the Avatar. But she's shown a surprising amount of kindness towards me, despite my identity as Ozai's son. I am not sure how to interpret that.

It is almost painful to think about my father the way she does. He is family, and I owe him loyalty. Of course, Azula is my family too, but I feel no obligation to her. Every moment I spend down here, I grow more and more confused. As prince, I have pledged my loyalty to my ruler. As a son, I have pledged it to my father. I am not blind to some of the atrocities he has committed, but it is not my place to question him.

…Is it?

"But…Ozai is my father," I say, and I am not quite sure why I'm saying it.

The girl in the hood doesn't seem to understand my struggle. "So? A father who burns his own child isn't worth any loyalty. I should know."

Her words set off several alarm bells in my head, though it takes time for each one to fully register. I latch onto my scar first. "How do you know my father burned me?"

She shrugs. "You were banished around the same time you got that scar. It's not that hard to put the pieces together."

I nod, but my mind is elsewhere. Something in that statement rings false, but it's overshadowed as another alarm bell takes precedence. "Wait a second…you said, 'I should know.' What's that supposed to mean?"

I think the girl in the hood stops breathing for a moment, and I know I've hit on something important. My mind works furiously, trying to fit everything together. "Wait. You would know if you were in the same situation…" And that could only happen if: "Your father's a firebender. You're Fire Nation?!" I nearly stagger under this revelation. All this time, I have been talking to a citizen of my own country. I am forced to reevaluate my opinion of her. Our entire conversation, I have been measuring her as an Earth Kingdomite, but now…her words take on different shapes now that she's Fire Nation. She's no longer an enemy, she is a traitor.

There is a moment of uncertainty as I doubt my conclusion, but she swears in defeat, and I know that I am right. "But…you travel with the Avatar." There is a double meaning here. I do not understand how a Fire Nation citizen, with all our value of loyalty and honor, can so easily turn her back on her country. The other side of this statement: why does the Avatar allow her with them? She is the very representation of what he is fighting against, so why has she stayed with them for so long?

"They don't know," she says miserably. "Of course they don't know. No one does. Except for you."

I understand this girl less and less the more time I spend with her. "Why would you tell me?"

Sarcasm drips from her voice. "It's not like I planned to, genius." She watches me carefully, then adds, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell the others, when they show up."

We are enemies, and she is asking this small favor of me. "How do you know I won't?"

"I guess I'll just have to trust you," she says.

We have been down here for hours (or what seems like hours…time is hard to measure) and already she is trying to establish trust with me. I wonder if she is this way with everyone, or if it's just me. She has a self-deprecating sense of humor and a way of deflecting that somehow has me opening up. I have the sneaking suspicion that I am not the first person she's used this technique on.

My mind catches up to an odd phrase she used. "Wait a minute…how do you know they'll come?" She acts as though being rescued is a certainty, when in reality, her friends have no idea where she is.

"It's Aang," she says, as though the answer is obvious. "He knows he shouldn't, but he will anyway."

She does not seem like the type to take this lying down. "And you still follow him?"

"Someone's got to be the voice of reason. If I left, they'd probably get themselves killed the very next day."

It occurs to me that she has told me an awful lot about the people I had been chasing across the world for several months. If I had had this information then… "You probably shouldn't be telling me this."

She readily agrees. "Probably not. Still not sure what you're going to do?" I start a little at her sudden change in topic, but I don't say anything. She takes this as a cue to continue. "Well, let me say this: You know what I think, but I won't try to tell you which side to choose." Given the passion with which she denounced Ozai, I did not expect her to say this. I am immensely grateful, then immediately feel guilty for feeling anything positive towards this girl. "It's not my decision. I can rant to you all day about how much I hate Ozai, but that doesn't matter to you. What matters is what feels right. If that means joining with your sister, well...that's up to you."

Every word from her mouth has me more and more confused about who she is. The way she speaks reminds me of Uncle, and I am hit with a sudden wave of longing. "I genuinely hope it doesn't come to that, but who knows?" She shrugs. "Just…make sure it's what you want, okay? Coming from someone who's been in a _very_ similar position—" my eyes drift to her scars without meaning to, and suddenly I think I know how people feel when they see mine: a little ashamed for looking, but unable to tear their eyes away at the same time. "I can say that I know how a decision like this feels. You can consider everyone you care about, but _you_ come first. Trust me on this."

Her voice cracks on the last sentence, shooting up an octave higher. The tone rings strangely in my mind, reminding me eerily of someone else. I don't know why, but my hackles are up. "Hold on," I say. "Do I—"

Whatever I am about to say is lost in the sudden sound of stone on stone. We both turn to look at the tunnel entrance, but it remains dark. Instead, a slab of rock next to the tunnel slides away to reveal the Avatar, his waterbending friend, and…Uncle.

He rushes to me and embraces me, and for once I return the gesture whole-heartedly. I am starting to realize how important he is in my life, and how valuable his advice might turn out to be.

"I am so glad to see you unharmed," he says, pulling back to look me in the eye.

"You as well," I say. I catch a glimpse of the Avatar over Uncle's shoulder, and my eyes narrow. "What are you doing with the Avatar?" I ask.

"I could not find you on my own," Iroh says. "I believed saving you was more important."

"But…" I hesitate. "My quest. My honor." My voice is nearly a whisper as I add, "Uncle…I don't know what to do."

He opens his mouth to respond, but a harsh sound like the grating of a dagger across a whetstone cuts the air. The girl in the hood has her head thrown back with scornful laughter, eliciting confused looks from her friends.

"The things she's said," I say, nodding to her. "And the things I've been trying to avoid. I can't figure out which side is right, but I cannot betray my father. I'm stuck."

"Tonight will come a decision that will change your life forever," he says gravely. "It is one I have been preparing you for all these years."

"_I don't want to be saved!_" the girl in the hood shouts, and her words echo in the air. Her vehemence startles me. What has she been through, that she says these things to her friends? She seems to realize that her outburst has drawn our eyes, because she bends her head and says harshly, "Don't you pity me. Don't you dare. I don't deserve it."

Her friends question her, and her reply is hard and bitter. She carries around so much guilt, but instead of making her angry, it has turned her into this creature of self-sacrifice. We may be similar in some ways, but this one aspect where we differ greatly.

She flings out a hand, and the moment before she opens her palm, I know what is going to happen. It is not so large a stretch from Fire National to firebender, but it still jarring. Her friends stare at her openmouthed, and even Uncle looks surprised.

"She's a traitor," I say. "The things she was saying about my father…"

Uncle gives me a sympathetic look. "I am afraid that she is not the only one of Ozai's subjects to share that opinion."

"But…how can I disobey my ruler? My father? If I bring the Avatar back, he'll forgive me."

The look Uncle gives me then makes me want to repeat the hooded girl's words to her friends. I do not like feeling as I did when I was young, like I was too small to truly understand the war, or politics.

"Come with us." The words are called out across the cave, and it takes a few moments to realize that they're meant for me. The girl in the hood is facing me, and the waterbender says something. She snaps back a sharp reply, but what I can see of her face does not leave mine. My mouth falls open in astonishment, but before I can say anything, she adds, "As a citizen of the Fire Nation, I implore you, don't stand aside and let Azula win. You know her reign will be even more destructive than Ozai's already is. You've seen the damage this war has done. Now you've got the opportunity to end it!"

When she puts it like that, I can see the sense in her words. Azula cannot rule after Ozai; I have known that for years. She is cruel and unforgiving, as she has already shown me multiple times. I am reminded that it is she who threatens Ba Sing Se, not my father. But…my father commands Azula. Turning on her would be akin to turning on him, in a way, and suddenly my thoughts are once again jumbled and confused. "I—don't…"

Uncle reads this plain as day on my face. "Zuko, perhaps it is time we talked." He waves a hand to the others. "Go help your friends. We will catch up."

They run to the side of the cave and moments later, they are gone. "Uncle…how could you let him walk away?" My voice is weak, and I am not sure even I believe myself.

"You are not the man you used to be, Zuko." Uncle's voice is firmer than I have ever heard it. "You are stronger and wiser and freer than you have ever been. And now you have come to the crossroads of your destiny. It's time for you to choose. It's time for you to choose good!"

I close my eyes against the barrage of his words. I have suspected for a long time that Uncle was not entirely supportive of my exile. But I never realized that he was so against it. That he was so against my father. There is a bitter taste in my throat, but my Uncle's words are not the only thing causing it.

A deep rumbling passes through the ground beneath my feet, and several crystals shoot skyward to imprison Uncle. I lunge toward him, but an all-too-familiar silhouette stops me in my tracks.

Azula steps into the cavern, looking the same as she did in the Earth Kingdom resort. There is a harsher look in her eyes, but also a sense of satisfaction that forms a pit in my stomach. When Azula looks happy, it's never anything good. "I expected this kind of treachery from Uncle, but Zuko, Prince Zuko…you're a lot of things, but you're not a traitor, are you?" Her tone is light, but at the same time, there is an iciness in it that sets my teeth on edge.

"Release him immediately," I say through gritted teeth. I know it is no use, but I say the words anyway.

"It's not too late for you, Zuko. You can still redeem yourself." Azula's voice has changed. It's not softer, but there's a noticeable lack of steel now.

"The kind of redemption she offers is not for you," Uncle warns.

Azula doesn't even look at him. "Why don't you let him decide, Uncle?" Her eyes are only on me. "I need you, Zuko. I've plotted every move of this day—this glorious day in Fire Nation history." She curls her hand into a fist as she imagines it. "And the only way we win is together. At the end of this day, you will have your honor back. You will have your father's love. You will have everything you want." Her voice is quiet but firm.

"Zuko." Despite the hypnotic effect of Azula's words, I turn to look at Uncle. He watches me with a pleading look on his face. "I am begging you, look into your heart and see what it is that you truly want." His eyes flash with meaning, and I remember so many things at once.

My mother, helping me to feed turtle-ducks.

_Her_, slicing her palm to bind herself as my blood sister.

My father, standing above me, a palmful of fire in his hand.

Uncle, watching me read the scroll that proclaimed my indefinite banishment until I captured the Avatar.

Azula, standing before me, promising that my father wanted me home.

The helmsman, ordering her ship to take off with us as prisoners.

The Avatar, a twelve-year-old child, evading my every move.

Jet, snarling into my face that I was nothing more than an evil firebender.

The girl in the hood, telling me that this decision was mine, and mine alone.

I am overwhelmed by the images in my mind, and I put a hand on my head to steady myself. The cavern is empty now; Azula has gone after the Avatar and the Dai Li agents with her have disappeared. Uncle still remains trapped in the crystal, watching me with uncertain eyes.

I turn abruptly and follow Azula's path. Uncle calls out to me, "Zuko! What have you chosen?"

I do not reply to him. Whether it is out of some fear that saying the words aloud will twist their meaning, or whether I believe saying them will undo my decision, I do not know.

* * *

I come to a cavern much larger than my prison, filled with Dai Li agents and the clash of fighting. The Avatar and the waterbender are taking on several agents at once, while Azula stands before a black-haired girl, hands bent in a fighting form. The girl stands in a stiffer pose, like she has been caught off guard.

It takes me a moment to realize that this is the girl in the hood. Her green cloak lies smoking on the floor next to her, finally revealing not just her face, but her entire frame. She is slender and pale, something that the cloak hid well. Her black hair is tied back in a thick braid, and she is dressed entirely in green and brown. Even still, there is something about her that pokes and prods at me.

She turns her head slightly and catches my gaze. My stomach drops.

I have always scoffed at the phrase, "time stood still." I more than anyone know that time is not apt to slow or stop. But in that moment, I understand the full meaning of those words.

The fighting continues, and the sounds grow louder, I know, but in the moment that I take in her face, I can see and hear nothing else. There is a heavy pulsing in my ears, drowning out everything else and marking the time in liquid beats.

BA-BUM.

Zamira, the childhood friend, the sister who left me behind not one week before my scarring. Standing here, in this cavern, her face is twisted into a painful grimace, skin slightly green. Her eyes are wild and haunted, and I suddenly know that she never meant for me to discover who she was.

BA-BUM.

Two hours. That's about how long we spent in the cave together. Two hours of conversation, and not once did she give a hint as to who she might be. And not once did I suspect her of this identity.

BA-BUM.

She takes a step forward, arm outstretched, her eyes shining dully as she pleads silently with me. Though we have not seen each other for three years, I understand exactly what she is trying to say.

And I hate her for it.

BA-BUM.

The full, terrible impact of what she's done hits me like a kick to the sternum, and I don't want her to see the emotion warring away inside me. I wipe my face clean like a chalk slate, leaving nothing behind for her to see.

She winces and steps forward, one hand outstretched. "I am so sorry," she says desperately. Even though her voice is so much deeper than what I remember, I can now hear the friend I grew up with. For some reason, this angers me even more. "I should have told you. But, please…trust me."

I want to scoff at her, to yell and scream and ask why on earth she expects me to give her the benefit of the doubt. But I don't say anything, content to let my face resume its blank canvas to show her how little she can hurt me (even though it's a lie).

Time rushes back with a muted roar, but I can't look away from her. I don't pay attention to the Dai Li agents, or the Avatar, or my sister. We are the only people in this cave, and I know that my forced lack of emotion is killing Zamira. I feel a savage surge of pleasure at the thought of hurting her. She had done the same to me, so it is only fair.

She opens her mouth to say something else, but she doesn't get the chance. Zamira's disregard for her surroundings finally catches up to her as my sister snaps to her senses and wraps a hand around Zam's throat. She starts, hands shooting up to pry at Azula's fingers. Despite my sister's smaller size, she is strong, and Zam is unable to free herself.

Her eyes dart wildly around the cavern, searching for any chance of rescue. Her friends are too busy with the Dai Li, maybe to the point that they have not noticed her peril.

Those copper eyes finally land on me, though they don't hold much hope anymore. She musters up the strength to send me one final message, and though the last thing I want is to hear it, our years of friendship bind us together too tightly for me to ignore it.

_I owe you_, she tells me. _If I die, you won't hear my story. You've a right to be angry, but please, for the sake of our oath, hear me out._

I chafe at the reminder of our blood oath, even though she tells the truth. She may have hurt me, may have left me behind, but I still owe her an ear to listen. And I am desperate enough for her explanation that there is not much choice left in the matter.

But…as I think, my mind racing away in the few seconds it will take me to act, I realize that that is not quite true. Zam owes me, yes, but there is more at stake in this decision than her. Azula is the one choking her, not some faceless Dai Li. If I throw my lot in with Zam (as rescuing her would ultimately do), I am alienating myself from Azula, and by extension, my father.

An invisible hands reaches into my insides and begins tying my stomach in knots. This is the decision Uncle was talking about. Do I join Azula, and turn my back on Zamira, or do I join with her, and by extension, the Avatar?

I remember once more that brisk morning by the harbor, when Azula told me that my father was ending my banishment, and wanted me home. I wanted so badly to believe her that I ignored all counsel Uncle had tried to give. Weeks later, after our escape, I would replay the scene in my head, going over Azula's words again and again until they no longer held any meaning. But wish as I might, the message remained the same:

Azula would have brought me home in chains.

She could not have done so on her own (no matter how much she might wish to); she had to have orders to bring me in.

The only person Azula takes orders from is my father.

And the most terrible realization of all: my father had wanted me back in chains.

My heart falters in its steady pace. I feel sick to my stomach, even though I have come to this conclusion several times. Despite my years of loyalty, my refusal to fight him, my continuing devotion to my impossible quest, I could not please my father. I could not regain my honor.

I feel as though I am teetering on the edge of a towering cliff, unable to see the ground below. Do I jump, or do I walk away?

I don't know what to do. I look over to Zam, hoping that the sight of my sister and my friend will force me to make a choice. As I watch, Zam's eyes roll back in her head and she slackens in Azula's grip. An icy hand plunges into my chest and suddenly, I know what to do.

I jump, and my mind has no choice but to follow me down. The decision has been made.

My sister staggers under Zam's limp body, and I use the distraction as an opportunity. I lunge forward and tear Azula's hand away. A great gasp rips through the air and Zamira tumbles to the ground, as boneless as a rag doll. As much as I want to stop and check on her, I know that I can't. The shock of my decision may have stopped Azula cold for now, but it won't last.

She's staring at me now, her face stuck between total fury and confused astonishment. Her confidence in my decision ran so deeply that she never even considered that I would choose differently. Anger of my own bubbles up in my stomach, answering hers in equal strength.

For so long, Azula has manipulated me and predicted my actions before I have even known them, but that ends tonight. I may not be confident in the leap I have taken, but I will defend what I have done for now.

"How dare you?!" she snarls. "You think Father could forgive this? You'll never go home!"

I scowl back at her, hands extended in fists. "He didn't want me home before," I say. "But this isn't about him. This is about you and me right now."

"Oh, it's more than that, Zuzu," she sneers, and my lip curls at the condescending nickname. "You defy me, you defy him."

I know that all too well, and the reminder has me faltering slightly. Azula grins wildly, sensing that she's close to the mark. "It's not too late," she says, taking a step forward. "I know how much she hurt you." A nod to Zamira, who lies still on the cavern floor. "You can end this, and reclaim your place beside Father. Just one little move…" She reaches toward Zamira, fingers twitching like she aches to squeeze the remaining life from her lips.

I cut her off before she can do anything else. "No," I say. "I choose her." A wave of fire erupts from my hand as I throw it forward, using all my anger and resentment for my sister as fuel. If I am hoping to catch Azula off guard, I am disappointed. She launches herself out of the way, pivoting on one foot to retaliate. I am the one dodging the flames now, sending out attacks of my own when I can. My goal is not to defeat her completely (though I desperately wish it was), but to lure her away from Zamira.

She doesn't seem to notice that I'm drawing her farther and farther away, at least until I kick her back into the Avatar's path. "You take her!" I order. He jolts in surprise when he sees me, and his eyes widen even more as he takes in Azula. A question is written across his face, one that I don't have time for, but answer anyway. "I know her," I say, tilting my head towards Zamira before bending backwards to avoid Azula's characteristic azure fireballs. "And she may be dying!"

He looks unsure, but I am handing him Azula on a silver platter. I can practically see the gears turning in his head: If I am fighting Azula, I am not on her side. At least I can be trusted more than she. Finally, after Azula retreats under another attack, he nods and takes over for me.

I watch for a moment, just to make sure that he won't go back on his word and let Azula come after me. When I'm sure that I can escape without penalty, I run back to Zamira, who's just beginning to stir.

Relief washes over my limbs, though anger quickly freezes them again. Zam blinks wearily, eyes unfocused and hazy. As they sharpen, she gives me an incredulous look, like she can't quite believe I chose her. The part of me that isn't too busy being irritated that she would think so low of me is full of sympathy. I won't let it show as she opens her mouth and tries to say something. A tired squeak is the only thing I hear.

"Save your energy," I say shortly. "You'll have plenty of time to explain later. Believe me." My voice is low and dark, but she doesn't flinch like I hoped she would. She only looks at me with a clear and open face, and I dislike her even more for it. I am too close to her to ever really scare her, no matter how much I want to.

She props herself up and quickly assesses the condition in the cave. A detached part of me notes the way she holds herself tightly, and how she marks her threats and allies. I don't know what she's been doing since I saw her last, but whatever it was, it made her a soldier more than her father ever could.

Her knees wobble underneath her as she makes to stand. Instinctively I reach out and clasp her elbow to steady her. Instead of words, she only manages a set of grating coughs, but the dirty look she gives me says enough about her ability to take care of herself. She pulls her elbow from my grip and breathes heavily, replenishing her oxygen.

Standing next to her in the relative silence surrounding us is too much, so I look for something to distract me. A flash of green draws my attention, and I see several Dai Li agents cornering the waterbender. I am not completely comfortable joining this fight on either side, but I suppose I have chosen my lot. I have never believed in doing something halfway, so I leave Zam to fight the Dai Li alongside her friend.

She doesn't notice me until I am practically at her side, throwing flame at the agents pinning her down. She balks, drawing away from me. "Don't come any closer."

I roll my eyes, then take out an agent creeping up on her. "I'm on your side."

"Like I believe that!" she cries, lashing out with a water whip.

"Fine," I say shortly. "Don't. But I'm not on Azula's side. You can ask the Avatar."

That gives her pause, enough so that a cloaked shadow can dart under her tentacle of water. I punch, and a ball of fire catches him in the chest and sends him flying back. "Believe me now?" I ask, already turning away.

"No."

I anticipated this. "Trust me for the hooded girl's sake, won't you? She trusts me." I don't know the name Zam's gone by, so that's all I can reference her as.

"Mira makes mistakes too," the waterbender says shortly, freezing one enemy in a block of ice. "You could be one of them."

Mira. I have to admit, as nom-de-plumes go, that one's not bad. Close enough to her own name that she'd respond to it, but far enough away from her Fire Nation one to give her the distance she needed.

I have nothing to say to the waterbender's bitter remark, so I focus my concentration on my fighting. Even though I've saved this girl's life, I am not anticipating that she'll return the favor, so I watch my own back. Defending myself is twice as hard this way, but I'm not letting my guard down here. Zamira still owes me an explanation.

All sound is sucked out of the room suddenly, and I turn to see the Avatar floating in midair, eyes and tattoos glowing white. The Dai Li creep back into the shadows as all eyes turn upward, and the fighting stops.

I know what will happen before it does. Despite the stillness in the cave, one person doesn't follow the rules. Azula's always been like this, disregarding the end of a fight just so she can score one last hit. But this isn't a sparring match, and she won't be holding back.

A thundering crack pierces the air, followed instantly by the sound of sizzling flesh. The Avatar's body convulses underneath the lightning, then starts to fall through the air.

Hell erupts after that. The waterbender screams wildly and races forward on a wave of water to catch him, but I'm turning to look at Zamira.

I almost don't recognize her. She has always been a pretty girl, but now her face is twisted into an ugly mask of hatred and anger. She is tensed like an arrow, and she is pointed straight for Azula.

A green blur streaks across the cavern floor, followed by orange streaks of flame. Zamira attacks Azula with a ferocity I thought only my sister capable of. For a moment, I am transfixed, watching the two fight each other with a deadly force that spells out only one ending.

This snaps me out of my trance, and I take a step forward to join the melee. Two sets of hands grip my arms, stopping me in my tracks. Instinctively, I drop to the ground, dragging my opponent's hands down and unsteadying them. The hands loosen, and I am able to kick myself off the ground and into an upright position.

Two Dai Li agents stand before me, their gazes blank and unfeeling. Whether Azula has ordered them to capture me, or whether they merely see me as another enemy, I don't know. Whatever the reason, I can't let them drag me away again, so I clench my fists and attack before I can give them more time to prepare.

As experienced as the Dai Li are, it is obvious that they've never faced a firebender. At most they've faced other earthbenders before, but facing a different element is not nearly the same thing. I dispatch them both with a kick and a punch each. But as quickly as I was able to beat them, too much time has passed. When I turn back, Azula has Zamira in her grasp again.

This time it's an elbow hold, but it doesn't look any more pleasant. Before I can do anything to help, Zamira tenses, and I almost shout aloud. But she's already gone ahead and done it. She yanks her arm away, and I don't need to hear the low, hollow pop to know that she's just dislocated her own shoulder to get away from my sister. Despite my anger, I find my respect for her increase. It takes a lot of nerve to willingly hurt yourself just to gain an advantage over an enemy. Though maybe it's just the sympathy talking.

I hear a rumble off to my left just in time to duck. A hand of rock soars past my head, and I look over to see another agent standing there, arm outstretched. I kick out with one foot, sending him toppling, but there's another one behind him. The corner of a green cloak flaps in the corner of my vision, and I see two others on either side.

There's no hesitation. A chorus of groaning rock fills the air around us, sending rock after rock flying towards me. I dodge left and right, every time managing to take a step closer to my opponents. By the time they realize what's going on, I am already far too close. I sweep my arm around in a savage motion, knocking all three agents to the ground with a wave of fire. Before they're even all the way down, I am already scanning the area for more.

"Go!" I start as I hear a familiar voice in the cave. Uncle stands near the entrance, hand extended towards the wave of fresh Dai Li standing before him. "Go!" he says again. "I'll hold them off!"

"Uncle!" The cry slips past my lips as I take a step forward, hand outstretched to…I don't know what exactly. All I know is that I can't leave him here in this cavern, at the mercy of Azula.

"Go, nephew!" he orders me. He spots Zamira across the cave, barely upright, standing twenty feet away from a feebly stirring Azula. With a wave of his hand, he says, "Help her. Go with the others. I will be fine."

But that's a lie and we both know it. As powerful as he is, he cannot face down the Dai Li and my sister expecting to come out on top. If I leave him here, I am signing his death warrant. How can he ask this of me? How can he expect me to obey?

Uncle sees my reluctance and sends me a piercing gaze. Never before have I seen him look at me with such ferocity, and suddenly I understand the stories about him. I could never see the soldier my men had so revered, but now…he is more than my uncle. He is the Dragon of the West, this man who had an entire past before I came along. So maybe…maybe he'll be alright Even if he is captured, my father wouldn't kill him. Traitor that he is, my father wouldn't sentence his own brother to death. Life in prison, yes, but not capital punishment. If I left now, Uncle would survive.

It is this thought that has me nodding at his words. I am at Zam's side seconds later, assessing her carefully. I didn't see all of her fight, but I know instantly that it took too much of a toll on her. She tries to say something, but can only manage a series of coughs that has her whole body shuddering. A red handprint circles her throat like a brand, and I feel a surge of anger towards my sister. Whatever the Fire Nation is, we are not murderers. We should be better than that, and it's clear that Azula is not.

Zam tries to take a step forward to leave the cave, but can barely manage it for all the dizzy swaying she's doing. She'll never make it out of here under her own power, so I take a step forward to help. Before I can do anything, a figure catches my eye.

Another Dai Li agent approaches us, but there's something different about this one that has me squelching the fire that springs up in my palm. The others I've fought move with a precise, unfeeling fluidity, but this one…he's, well, not sloppy exactly, but you can tell there's a person behind that cloak and hat. What really has me pausing, though, is the way he looks at her. Not with disgust, or fear, like the way most Fire Nationals are looked at. There's a plain urgency on his face, like he's got something to tell her that can't wait a single moment. He reaches out and touches her shoulder, and I let him.

Zam turns, already tensing at the contact. When she sees who it is, she relaxes and surprise flickers over her face. It's obvious that the agent knows her, and it seems that Zam knows him too. I wonder for a brief moment how that came about, but dismiss it quickly. Now's not the time to focus on that.

"Follow me," he says, voice low. He turns with a swish of his green cloak, and it serves as a stark reminder that no matter how different he may look, he's still a Dai Li agent. I don't know where he's going, but alarm bells start ringing in my head. He could be using his acquaintance with Zam to lead us into a trap.

I take an involuntary step towards Zam, and she looks at me. My doubt is written all over my face. She responds instantly with a pointed look, one that says, "Trust me." And though I may hate myself for this, I still do. For all that she's done to me, I trust her more than I really trust anyone. So I follow after her, still making sure to watch the agent like an eagle-hawk.

He leads us to a corner of the cavern mostly hidden from view. As I keep watch, he places a hand on the rough stone wall and runs it along the grooves, eyes narrowed in concentration. I get antsy after a few too many moments of this, so I ask, "What are you doing?"

"Trying to find the latch," he says absently, still feeling along the wall.

"Can't you just earthbend the wall open?"

His answer is short and crisp. "Not an earthbender."

Oh, wonderful. We've just entrusted our lives to an agent who doesn't even know how to get us out of here. I shoot Zam an annoyed glance, but she's too busy looking at the man in front of her, eyes narrowed in thought. "So we're trapped?" I snap, since I'm the only one who seems at all worried about our predicament. I still don't trust this agent and wouldn't put it past him to lead us here and pin us down while he called reinforcements. I tense, flexing my fingers in case fighting is needed.

"Ba Sing Se isn't just full of earthbenders." The agent's voice is testy as his fingers scratch across the wall. "We've got our own ways out." The words are barely out of his mouth when a hollow click echoes from a space behind the wall, and the agent flashes a satisfied smile as he pulls his hand back from the little indentation where he'd found the latch. "That tunnel leads aboveground," he says, jerking his head toward the cavity he'd just opened up. "Now hit me."

Uh…what? Zamira must look just as confused as I do, for the agent barely suppresses a sigh before explaining. "It needs to look like you escaped. I can't be blamed for this."

I understand instantly. He can't just wander back to his superiors, shrug, and say we got away. No one would believe him, especially if he returned the same condition in which he left. But if he was found unconscious next to a tunnel, that'd be a different story.

I am still unsure the reason behind his generosity, but I decide not to question it. If he wants to lead us out, let him (so long as he doesn't suddenly change his mind). Zam gives me a look, one that clearly says she's run out of energy, so if anyone's going to be knocking someone unconscious, it's got to be me.

I nod at her, then bend down to pick up a fist-sized rock from the ground. I heft it in my hands to get a feel for it, then after a quick glance to the agent (who tenses for the impact), I bring my weapon down to meet his temple. He falls to the ground, and I let the rock do the same from my hand.

Zam stands in front of the black tunnel yawning open before her, and I see her face turn a pale shade of green. I know how much she hates underground spaces, and how much more she hates it when they're dark. Walking through will be hell on her, but still she attempts to stand with head held high.

It only lasts for a second before her eyelids flutter and her knees shake underneath her. Before she can stumble or fall, I come up beside her and pick her up into my arms. Stubborn person that she is, she struggles feebly before the pain and exhaustion catches up to her, and she passes out. I step inside the tunnel, and it closes behind me, as though it has been waiting for me to enter. Just as I am enveloped in complete darkness, the crystals that had filled the cavern behind me light up the tunnel. I start forward, careful to keep Zam as still as possible.

I don't know what waits for us at the end of the tunnel, just as I don't truly know what I've left behind. My whole life has been spelled out for me since birth, but now, for the first time since I can remember, I don't know what lies ahead. My decisions have consequences that I can't foresee, and that scares me more than it should. Perhaps this is what Zamira felt when she left three years ago.

At the thought, I look down at the girl cradled in my arms. Her face is caught between a twisted expression of pain and the peacefulness of sleep. Overall, she just looks confused.

Well, she's not the only one.

* * *

**A/N: The reason I started writing this was I was worried about writing Zuko, so I decided to just get inside his head. Apparently it was a lot easier than I thought, because I wrote about half of this in one go. So maybe this story does have a bright updating future. Don't hold me to that, though.**

**I wasn't going to publish this yet, but I finished editing it tonight, and finals week starts in two days. So I thought I'd give you guys something at least, since I won't be writing at all for at least a week. So enjoy this, and I'll try to finish the next chapter of Honor Among Thieves after finals.**

**Please review and tell me what you think!**


End file.
